Well, it’s been a couple of weeks (and a lesson in “Blogging”) and I have decided to write a “continuance” to my first entry…another intro to the blog. I tried to make it clear what the blog was going to be about, unfortunately, I only pointed to one side of the story. I am a combination of confused and frustrated but stay with me here. I want to help everyone “see the story”. I want to let the soldier know that the feelings you are having right now of “lost, unmotivated or distanced” are normal when you get home. I also want to let the veteran’s spouses, mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, girlfriends and boyfriends, friends and co-workers know that your soldier is a different person now, not bad, not worse, just different. War changes people, it has to. I want to help shed some insight on it. Even though I am writing this from my perspective, a veteran’s perspective, I want to involve other people…the people who knew us before we left and the people who know us now…once we’ve come home. I most definitely wanted to let other soldiers know that here is a forum where we can help one another, share some stories, some experiences of coming home, etc. That’s one side. Here’s the other side of the coin….

In March of 2003, I think every news outlet created some catchy slogan “War in Iraq” or “War against Saddam”. At that time it WAS the news and they all were cashing in on it. Even today, daily updates from the war zone are a feature on the nightly news. But what I’ve found is that, as a whole, the American public is pretty much unaffected by the war. I don’t mean to sound cynical or snide, I don’t mean it that way. It’s just that the public, for the most part, is pretty much not affected by the war in Iraq/Afghanistan. Most people have a couple degrees of separation from it. For example, most people don’t have a family member who is overseas. Most people “know a guy who has a cousin that is in Iraq” or some convenient variation of that. There is no “rationing” going on like in World War 2 so there is plenty of gas and sugar. This war didn’t create a new “Rosie the Rivetor”. In today’s war, people watch it on the news and then turn it off with the flip of a switch to something more pertinent. Please don’t misunderstand me on this. I get it that people are unaffected by it and I’m not saying those people need to make the war a bigger part of their life. My point is simply that the American public sees very little of the real war. When a local Reserve unit gets activated, the news in that town will traditionally do a story on it. For about 5 minutes (at the most) the viewers will see lots of hugs and tears by family members, lots of yellow ribbons and the interview with the soldier who is leaving behind an unborn baby (that story always gets the viewers). The Reserve/National Guard unit will go off and do their thing, bravely and honorably and return home a year later and a year older (that one year is like dog years, I think…it ages us more than just one year). The local news will do a follow-up story at that time and there will be more of the same…hugging and tears by family members who are a year older, more yellow ribbons and that unborn baby will now be stumbling around (which the new mom and dad will pass off as walking) and drooling through a smile showcasing a couple new teeth. And that’s the end of the story, the story that the American public gets to see. In reality, that’s merely one chapter in the now multi-volume compilation work. The war has changed and will continue to change each person it touches because it does more than just touch people. Many changes are not even close to being seen or even expected at this time. Time will tell.

That’s the purpose of this blog. As I woke up each day and tried to “get my life back” after returning home I had some people in my life that were there to try to help in any way they could. My parents were there to listen to me vent as daily life seemed to weigh heavy on me at times. My best friend was there telling me that “it will all be fine it just takes time”. This great girlfriend I have just listened to me as I tried to get my arms around my feelings. I want to write about my story and the stories of others who volunteer them to me. These are the kind of stories that will lend some insight to people who are “unaffected” by the war. Use these stories and examples of things that happen to soldiers if you are a spouse of a veteran, a mother or father of a veteran, a girlfriend or boyfriend of a veteran, a son or daughter of a veteran, or if you are just simply a person who wants to know what that guy/girl who sits in the cube next to you at work may be thinking because he is a veteran. Trust me, most of us (vets) just don’t spill our feelings like a 4-yr old with a cup of milk on a trampoline, you may have to dig a little bit, and even then we hold on to our feelings like it’s a family secret we are not supposed to tell. After all, we are supposed to be tough and strong and “nothing bothers us”. It HAD to be that way in the desert because we had to bring out a personality in us that's not normally there and it’s hard to flip that switch once we are home. Anyway, I think for the most part, soldiers aren’t the most “touchy-feely” people on the planet…I think I may be an exception to that rule as I wear my feelings on my sleeve, for the most part.

If you want to know what it’s like to go to war and come home then check out the site again. You may never get it but you may grow to understand that soldier a little better and be able to help that person adjust a little easier. I will do my best to tell you the stories. I will use the words from other soldiers, with their permission, of course. It’s our story as veterans. It’s our story as Americans. As long as we live in a free country where we walk side by side with each other then it’s your story as well, whether you want it or not. You ARE affected by this war, maybe just not quite paying enough attention to the signs around you. The next time you’re in traffic and you honk at the person who didn’t take off fast enough once the light went from red to green just remember that there are many distractions in life. That guy driving that car might be having a bad day. Take it easy, you never know what his day has been like.

I hope you check it out again. See ya.

Kevin

ps...as you can see we now have a "contact me" tab. I would love to read your comments/criticism. This blog will be very interesting with the input of others. I hope to hear from y'all, as we say in the Carolinas.